Friday, January 6, 2012

Gardening The Safe Way

This was written after our visit to Washington DC in August, 2011:

The problem with having a garden in your yard is not the bugs or the various fungus problems or even the indomitable weeds.  The real problem comes after you have tilled the ground and picked out the weed roots, then raked it all out and planted the seeds or sets, and then watered and fertilized, and picked more weeds and waited till just the right moment for harvest, some sneaky idiot neighbor steals your tomatoes or pulls up the carrots.   The cure for this, of course, is to put up a good fence with “Do Not Climb or Cross This Fence” signs.  Trained snipers on the roof make it a winning situation for the gardener.  That way, NO ONE will get near the melons or poke salad.  Michelle, a woman in Washington D.C. figured this out a couple of years ago and her little 20 x 15 garden plot looks great.  The professional landscape men who tend the yard keep it looking that way.   I think the snipers were there already and they put the garden on their watch list at no additional cost. 

It’s a funny thing when you think about it.   Folks who live in mobile homes will put a concrete birdbath with a circulating pump in it out in the yard to make the place look fancy.   And, the folks who live at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave who already have magnificent fountains front and back and a potentially prizewinning lawn put a vegetable garden out back, in view of the street to make the place look like a mobile home park in Ohio. 

Yes, there are snipers.   You can see them move about from time to time.  Our guide, a fellow who is professionally involved in the workings of the U.S. Government said we could glance at the snipers, but not to stare at them, or make eye contact as they peered down on the civilian population with their high-powered binoculars.   If they “noticed” us, the ground level guards might walk out and want to talk.   That would be bad mojo, indeed.  

This is the White House, the People’s House here in America.  Of course, “the people” don’t really get to use it.   In fact the people who own it don’t even get to knock on the front door or stroll up the front walk without a specific invitation by date and time from a Congressman or Senator.  Personally, I’d like to file a Notice of Eviction with the local Sheriff. I don’t care to knock on the door, but I think it is time for the current residents to pack up and move on.  

Marine One, the President’s Sea King helicopter comes and goes several times each hour, I suppose to make it harder for anyone to know if or when the Executive is on board.  Everything revolves around Security here.   I don’t disagree with that actually, but there is a difference between having security and living in a fortress.   You’ll not get the full feeling of this on the nightly news, but standing out front, walking by, the “fortress” effect comes through loud and clear.   The long line of Black Suburbans in the drive, possibly waiting to head out to the golf course is the only thing that breaks the spell.

We left the White House sidewalk and walked past the big building next door.  Then it dawned on me why Presidents seem to feel that they can spend money with no looking back.   The building next door is the Department of the Treasury…”Lead us not into temptation” is NOT emblazoned on the big doors.

Now, on with the tour. 





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